​Beware of brain farts


(above) Aging baby-boomer's low-tech secret weapon: If you remove the Caps Lock key, you can’t tap it accidentally.

As you write, be conscious of your habitual errors, which may increase as you get older. I have many “senior moments” (also known as “brain farts”) while typing. Don’t laugh at me if you’re just 30 years old. The 20-year-olds are laughing at you.



It takes just about 15 minutes to go from age 30 to age 50. It takes five minutes to go from 50 to 60.

I’m a proud member of the first cohort of the Baby Boom. I was born in 1946 along with Billy Clinton, Dolly Parton and Donny Trump.



In the new system, we are all still middle-aged, and we will remain middle-aged until dirt is shoveled on top of us.



Lately, I’ve stupidly held down the shift key as I pressed the key to insert an apostrophe, and ended up inserting a colon. I often type “i nthe,” “hsould,” “nad” and “fro ma.” I now tap the Caps Lock key a lot by accident, the semicolon instead of the apostrophe, and the “Page Down” key instead of “delete.”



I’ve also degenerated from being the world’s fastest six-finger typist to a pretty-good two-finger typist. (I actually have ten fingers but I’ve never used them all for typing.)





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Be careful where you rest your fingers. The DELETE key is potentially very  destructive. Don’t tap DELETE when you want PAGE DOWN.

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By the way, a typo (typographical error) is a goof caused by tapping the wrong key, or—much less often—by hardware malfunction. Please don’t call an error of ignorance a typo. If your book says you were “born in Missipi,” or that George Washington “were borned in Philadelphia,” don’t blame your keyboard or computer.



If I live long enough, I’ll probably develop even more bad habits which I can’t control. I hope sloppy typing is not an early sign of dementia.



I guess having to fix typos is better than dying young and perfect. When I start drooling on the keyboard, someone should take it away from me.